Self Appreciation

12:03 AM 5/20/2015

So  here recently I have come to the conclusion that I need to stop thinking about what everyone else wants for me, what other's think of me, how others think I am.  I am me and if you don't like it I'm not sorry for being the person I am because you aren't sorry for molding me into what I am.

I have had so many people leave me because they found out who I was on the inside.  I am strong, determined, creative, sensitive, worried, afraid and independent.  All of those scare the hell out of people but I know it take a certain type of person to deal with me and hardly anyone wants to even try to understand me because of how opinionated I am about literally everything.

 People think I am a bitch because I stand my ground when I know something is right because of all the research I have done.  I am not like others in my generation because I actually care about what is going on in this world and I see outside the bubble our society has created for us to live in.

When I look at this world I see it through a looking glass much like Alice did when she first stepped through the looking glass into Wonderland.  I am looking back into the world Alice left, the grey world of rain and drab and acceptance to the ways of everyone else, a world of plastic look a likes who don't know what it means to be your own person.

The world I am in is vibrant with people from every religion and ethnic group all living in peace and harmony, exotic colors splashed around in the most perfect pattern ever known to man, smells of every region of the world, spices in the warm sun letting off their fragrance, fruits and vegetables just teeming with vibrancy and life, no meat shops because life is sacred and cherished.  There are no people dying from hunger or ailments.  It's the perfect world and everyone is allowed to join if only they would notice what the heck is going on outside of their bubble and come through the looking glass and join me.

I love myself, I never used to love myself and I was in a very dark place.  I was on the verge of ending it all a few times because I had let others beat me down over and over and over not ever looking up always thinking I was wrong in everything I said.  I was a loner child with a high IQ and low popularity.  I was the kid no one would talk to because I was weird and others felt like I was radiating a weird feeling.  Well now I don't care what others think because the love I have for myself surpasses any hate they have for me.